Despite Anticipation
by Starbuckx and Carrie
Summary: An AU fic. What if things would have turned out different? What's the prize for a life? Spoilers for DH.
1. Chapter 1

**Despite Anticipation**

_"No-no-no!" someone was shouting. "No! Fred! No!"_

_And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them, and Fred's eyes stared without seeing, the ghost of his last laugh still etched upon his face._

_The world has ended, so why had the battle not ceased, the castle fallen silent in horror, and every combatant laid down their arms? _

But the world hadn't ended right then and there, and nobody had put down their wands, there were no victory celebrations, only more deaths. Harry closed his eyes briefly inhaling deeply: He didn't understand Severus Snape, but he had the feeling that there was more to that man than he would ever understand. How many more people could he take on his conscience? The way back to the main building seemed longer than usual. If he were being completely honest with himself, he would admit that he feared what he would see once they reached their final destination. He walked next to Hermione and Ron and concentrated on the simple things. The flask that Snape had entrusted to him seemed to burn itself into his skin as they entered the gate.

"Where is everyone?" Hermione whispered.

Slowly they walked towards the Great Hall, almost as if Hermione's words had led them there, to the only possible place where they could find answers. The Hall was swirling, people running left and right, yelling, the wounded rounded up in a corner. Harry let his eyes wander over those who had been hurt, desperately looking for someone he knew, and yet afraid of what he was going to find.

His eyes caught a glimpse of red, and he saw it, before Ron and Hermione had even noticed, and the world went into slow motion. Suddenly Ron was running towards his family, Hermione on his heels, and her eyes were calling him on, and yet he could not move, or breathe.

In the middle of the hall, neatly arranged in a row, lay the dead. Harry could not see Fred's body because his family surrounded him, but beside him he could clearly see a head of red hair, and the kind, smiling face of Mr. Weasley, looking so peaceful he could have been sleeping, except he would never wake again.

Mrs. Weasley was lying halfway across what could only be Fred's chest, and yet her hand was gripping that of Mr. Weasley, who could not offer any comfort, who would never be able to offer her comfort again. Beside her, kneeling was Remus Lupin, his hair dark with blood, his face covered with gashes, a gaping wound on his side.

George was kneeling close to Fred's head, and Ron, who'd just reached his family, was staring into his father's ashen face with wide eyes, Hermione's arms around him.

Bill and Fleur were holding onto each other tightly. Tears were streaming down Bill's face and Harry couldn't think of a time where the raucous Weasley clan had looked more lost. He couldn't see Ginny's face, because she'd burrowed it into Percy's chest, who rocked her silently, whispered in her ear, tried to soothe her when there was no reassurance to offer. Harry could see him swallow; his voice seemed to have abandoned him in the middle of a sentence.

A door opened, and Harry saw Remus jerk his head towards the movement as if he were waiting for someone to materialize, and it was then that Harry realized that Tonks wasn't in the Great Hall. He felt unable to join them. He wanted nothing more than to take the hurt away from these people, these people who were like his family, but he couldn't, not when so much as uncertain. He shook his head as his feet carried him backwards, and suddenly he was sprinting, but not towards his friends, but away from them, upstairs, further and deeper into Hogwarts castle. He was ready for the final lesson Severus Snape had wanted him to learn.

He felt a pair of eyes follow him out of the door, but he knew Remus wouldn't follow, not hurt like he was, not when Mrs. Weasley needed comfort. Ron wouldn't come either, and Hermione …Ron needed her more, and he understood. This was something he had to do alone.

Looking into the Pensive, he finally understood what his journey had been about. He felt heaviness settle in his chest, as he comprehended what he had to do. Finally he'd be able to finish his path, to end the senseless killing of innocent people. He would do what he had to do, because he was the missing piece in the puzzle. He couldn't bring back those who died, but maybe he could help the world become a better place.

Willingly, he stepped into the Forest and reached out, desperate for the comfort the spirits walking beside him provided. He could see his mother smiling, and his father looked just like he must have looked at Hogwarts, young and happy. The most striking was Sirius, finally looking young and whole. The words spoken passed in a flash, and he was standing there, ready, and there was a green light …and he was dead.

And then he wasn't. He stayed still through it all, even as familiar voices rang in his ears, and a plan of action sprung into his mind, unbidden. Neville -- and Harry wouldn't even consider what Neville had been through, couldn't imagine feeling prouder than he'd felt looking at Neville when he'd come out of the portrait of Arianna Dumbledore -- gave him the opportunity this time, and he suddenly he was invisible and he knew exactly what he had to do.

He was moving forward in the hall, steadily in the direction of Lord Voldemort. He watched as Ron and Neville brought down Fenrir Greyback, he continued to observe while Ron was pushed aside as Greyback shot a curse in his direction. He watched Percy gain the upper hand over Thicknesse, injured, but managing. Unexpected feelings were blossoming in him. They believed him dead, and still they fought on, no matter the cost.

A glimpse of red hair almost made his heart stop. Bellatrix was fighting Ginny, Hermione and Luna, and a killing curse had missed Ginny by less than an inch. Suddenly he couldn't breathe, the invisibility cloak was choking him. All his muscles tightened, and without thinking he was changing direction, ready to attack Bellatrix if it meant protecting Ginny. But someone else had beaten him to his goal.

"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"

Harry had never seen Mrs. Weasley in such a state. In all the times she'd thrown a maternal fit, she'd never been like that. She looked slightly mad, but determined. It seemed like nobody was able to look away. Fights were temporarily stopped and the hall was full of angry, violence-charged energy. Only two fights seemed to continue: Voldemort and his three opponents and Molly Weasley against Bellatrix. Molly ordered everybody to stand back, and it was frightening and disturbing how people obeyed. Didn't anybody see the haunted expression in Mrs. Weasley's eyes? He couldn't understand, and yet he couldn't move either…stood completely still… mesmerized…

Curses flew, angry lights flashing, Harry could hear gasps and shouts. From the corner of his eyes he saw Ginny, one hand clamped over her mouth, the other clutching her wand so tightly Harry wondered briefly if it would snap in two.

"Now that Arthur is gone the same way Freddie went ...it's so nice that you're going to follow them. But, Molly dear, do tell: What will your other brats do? Freddie, Arthur, you… I wonder who I'll will kill next? Perhaps George…or your precious G-"

"You- will- never- kill-"Molly started to scream, but before she had finished it, Bella had raised her wand, and sent a curse in her direction. Molly dodged it, her eyes even wilder, her demeanor furious. Harry raised his wand to perform a protection spell, but Bella shot another curse first.

Green light flashed, hitting Molly in the chest. There was a horrible scream. At first Harry couldn't tell whom it was coming from, but soon he realized it was Ginny, Ginny who sunk to her knees, her mother's head cradled in her lap, fingers stroking through her hair. Ginny, who'd left herself wide open to danger, and didn't even seem to notice.

Bellatrix raised her wand again, but she never managed a spell. There was another flash of light, and suddenly Neville's Gran was stepping forward, looking furious.

"Bitch, is far too nice a word for your kind! You don't deserve mercy. You torture, and you kill, you destroy families. You-"

Bella laughed and laughed, a hollow cruel sound escaping her mouth. Mrs. Longbottom didn't hesitate; one second Bella was there, the next, she wasn't.

The scene shifted. Suddenly, Harry couldn't stand it any longer, the cloak was choking him, and he wasn't protecting anyone. The minutes had passed, and he'd been distracted from his true goal, but it was still within his reach. In order to achieve anything, however, he had to be visible. And with that in mind, he swept off the cloak in one swift motion, without even bothering to locate Voldemort.

The crowd let out startled shouts of surprise. Exclamations of "Harry's alive!" and "He lives!" reached his ears and then silence fell. The duels around him all stopped, until even Voldemort could sense the shift. It was mere seconds before Harry found himself face to face with him, and he knew what he had to do, knew what he had to say, and yet he could hear Ginny's sobs, above everything else, and with every word he spoke, waiting to put an end to this, once and for all, he knew that he'd forever be haunted with the ghosts of what could have been.

"_Avada Kevadra_!" rang loudly in the room, but Harry was ready for it.

"_Expelliarmus_!" he shouted in the same instant, and there was a blast. Harry's eyes closed involuntarily, but he could feel the golden flames, and he opened his eyes and raised his hand at the same time, and when the wand was in his hand finally looked in front of him, to where Voldemort was falling backwards, arms splayed, and hitting the floor with a thud, remained there, as dead as all of those who lay in the middle of the Great Hall.

Lord Voldemort was gone, at last.

The sound was deafening. There was a sudden roar, and people started screaming, and cheering. Harry felt himself enveloped by people, and he wanted to get out, go to Ginny, talk to Ron, whose eyes were haunted even as he half-saluted Harry, but Harry remained rooted to the spot. For once, he understood. This wasn't all about him. So he let himself be congratulated, even as he slowly made his way to where the remaining Weasleys stood, all crouched between the figures of their parents, who now lay together next to their son, together in death, as they'd been in life.

They were surrounded by their loved ones, those whose lives were torn from them far too early, those who would be missed forever. It didn't really matter who stood next to whom, they were all holding onto each other knowing that they had to go on. Harry hesitated, suddenly not sure if he belonged. Two more steps, one, and then Ron's eyes caught his, and he felt strong arms envelop him, he felt Ginny's body pressing against him. He found himself in the middle, felt tears rolling down his cheek, and he didn't care. United they were. He turned a bit and pressed into Ginny's small form, felt her body shaking under her suppressed sobs, and looked up into Tonks' puffy eyes. She was alive. Remus was standing next to her, and somewhere close by were Luna and Neville.

Somewhere in the midst of his overwhelming grief there was an intruder. It was a feeling of gratefulness for all those who had survived.

Carefully he extricated himself, slipping away from the group. With a heavy heart he made his way out of the Great Hall. He felt Remus's presence behind him, caught a glimpse of Neville, also following him. He thought about Ron, with his dead parents, and Hermione, who was surely there comforting him, and walked a bit faster, thinking already about coming back. At the entry of the Great Hall he turned back, motioned for them to stay. Hermione and Ron had been with him the whole journey; they were the ones that had the right to be with him. And, on his mind, they were. He'd learned that he didn't have to do things on his own.

But right now, for a million reasons, alone is what he had to be.

**_To be continued …_**

_A/N: starbuckx: So, here we go again. Back into the world of fanfiction. This is a combined effort of sorts. We wrote the prologue together, but after this our stories branch out …let's just say I'll write the lighter side, and Carrie is going for dreary. _

_Carrie: Well, somebody has to deal with the Weasleys now that they have to handle the deaths of their parents along with that of their brother. Which leads me to apologizing: Molly's death was necessary to insure the balance of death and life. I am still sorry that it had to be done_

_Both: We can't finish without saying thanks to our lovely and ever helpful Yoda/beta, Anne, who rules both of your worlds. __It doesn't even need to be said that without her …well, you know how the saying goes._

**Disclaimer: These characters belong to J.K Rowling. No infringement is intended, and we're not making any money out of this.**


	2. Chapter 2

_Anticipation – Part One_

He opened his eyes slowly, as if convinced that the mere act of opening them would bring an unbearable amount of pain. There wasn't as much physical pain as he was expecting, only a dull ache on his side and his eyes were completely open before he remembered.

The pain wasn't physical, but it was present nonetheless.

Gingerly, he started moving, chiding himself for sleeping when there was so much to be done. If ever he was supposed to be the responsible adult, to take charge, this was the time. Dumbledore would expect it of him.

A weight on his shoulder stopped his movement, and small, white arms circled his waist. He took a deep breath, and felt immensely thankful for the sleeping form of his wife pressed against him. The wife he'd been too scared to love completely, the one he'd barely opened up to. And yet not only was she there, she was alive, and he had the chance to dote on her openly, to raise their son, to be there for him, every step of the way.

His heart lurched at the thought. His son. He had a son. And Harry, the son of one of his best friends had done the unbelievable yesterday – he'd defeated Voldemort, all by himself. The world was safer now and yet he'd never felt Harry needed him as acutely as he did at this moment. And, with another painful lurch, he thought of Ron, and Ginny, and remembered his promise to Molly, given what seemed like a century ago, when Sirius was still part of his life.

It was this last thought that finally propelled him out of the comfort of his wife's arms, and into the depths of the Hospital Wing. Poppy had laid down the injured, and forced-fed all with some kind of dreamless sleep potion, because he saw the place full to the brim, make-shift beds conjured in every space possible.

He didn't see Harry anywhere, but somehow he had a feeling he knew where to find him.

Stepping outside was much harder than he thought. A million thoughts and memories seemed to hang on his shoulders as he pressed a kiss on Tonks' forehead and headed outside, the voices of four young boys mixing with the sounds of Poppy scolding someone and the sleeping figure of his wife. It was almost enough to bring a smile to his face, and yet any trace of a smile disappeared as soon as he caught sight of the two redheads whispering outside of the Infirmary.

Everything came back in a rush, and without thinking he stepped forward until he was level with Bill, his hand resting on the young man's shoulder, his eyes fixed on the pained expression that not even a slight smile could erase from Charlie's face.

"I know these words don't mean a whole lot at this point, but I'm truly sorry," he said, his eyes coming back to Bill. "You know that …"

Bill interrupted him, almost as if he didn't want to hear empty platitudes, but his words surprised Remus. "I know," he said, his eyes flickering over Charlie. "_We_ know, Remus." He sighed, and his whole countenance seemed to lose a bit of the edge that kept him going. "It …we, thank you. Right now, I don't really know what the plan is, but once I figure it out …I might need a bit of advice then, so yeah…thank you."

Remus nodded and stood with them for a moment that seemed to go on forever before finally squeezing Bill's shoulder and heading once again toward Gryffindor Tower.

He briefly wondered if he would have any trouble getting in – but too much had happened in the last few days and the Fat Lady seemed merely grateful to see someone trying to go in. She raised her eyebrows at him, and he felt like bowing, as Sirius used to do, in school days that seemed so distant. Instead he nodded at her and went up the stairs to find Harry. Maybe one day he'd feel like bowing again.

Harry was still sleeping when Remus found him, and he wondered about his journey, if he'd had any chance to rest, if he'd eaten well. He certainly didn't seem malnourished, but there was an unfamiliar shadow upon his face that Remus understood to be responsibility. He'd been present when Harry was born and now Harry had grown up.

Sighing, he sat down, determined to wait. He amused himself with memories of this same bedroom where he was now sitting, of long hours spent working on the map, a bottle of Firewhiskey the only reward for a job well done, of silly pranks, and sneaking away at night. He'd been happy there. He'd wrapped himself up with the memories so thoroughly that it took several long moments to notice the green eyes that were now staring at him, looking wide awake.

Briefly, he contemplated what to say. When he finally did speak, what came off his mouth was, strangely enough, a phrase he'd never used before.

"Wotcher, Harry."

It seemed to be the right thing to say, for Harry's eyes twinkled as he sat up in the bed and he offered Remus a slight smile before replying "I see Tonks is rubbing off on you."

Remus shrugged. "It was bound to happen eventually," he offered as an explanation. "She's seems to think that's the only sensible way to start up a conversation. I figured it was as good a time as any to try out her theories."

Harry's smile faded all of a sudden, but he didn't speak.

Remus shook his head, "I'm not here to get into a long in-depth talk about the last seventeen years of your life, Harry," he said, and he could see Harry's relief written plainly in his face. "I just wanted to see how you were."

Suddenly words were pouring out of Harry, and Remus could see it surprised even him.

"It's over, and I just …it's over for good. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. And Mr. and Mrs. Weasley …I can't even look Ron in the face, and I …Hermione's with him now, but I just wanted to give them some time to …I don't know, and there's just …"

Remus smiled, and after a moment, remarked, "I think you wanted to add something about talking to Ginny there. I can certainly relate to that. You can have your row with Ginny as I go have mine with Tonks."

"Erm …is everything okay?"

"It will be," Remus responded, "As soon as we discuss why she decided to come here and leave our son alone." Once again, Remus was smiling kindly. "I don't think, when you agreed to be Godfather, you were agreeing to the responsibility of raising a child, and it could have happened, considering both his parents were fighting."

"I would have been proud to take care of him," Harry proclaimed, and just like that, the conversation was over. They still had a lot to talk about, but for now, they both seemed content to just sit in silence, and get used to the fact that they were both still there.

-

He'd sat with Harry for hours, and they'd drifted from a comfortable silence, to the safe subject of Teddy, and then, he'd started reminiscing about baby Harry. All in all, by the time he left the Dormitory, ready to go back to his wife, both seemed to be in better spirits. Even if he'd seen him as a baby, there was no denying that Harry wasn't a baby anymore, didn't need him to play father, but just to be a friend. And, having a friend felt oddly comforting to Remus.

Tonks was probably awake now and looking for him, and yet he took his time going back to the Hospital Wing. Thoughts of Molly and Arthur assaulted him now that he finally allowed himself to think about them, and he briefly put himself in their place, wondered what the world would be like with him and Tonks gone, and knew what was expected of him. Molly and Arthur had both been much better people than he ever hoped to be and he was sure, if the roles were reversed, they would have been there for Teddy.

Silently, he slipped back into the crowded Hospital Wing, and felt a swell of gratitude for Poppy and Minerva, for setting it all up. In the corner, he could see Bill and Charlie, now joined by George, discussing something in whispers, while in the bed next to them Percy lay bandaged and awake, his eyes focused on the ceiling. He headed towards them silently, and Bill moved to show that he was welcome in the conversation. They waited for him to join their circle, and continued talking, as if they'd never stopped.

"She needs to be with us. We can't very well leave her alone," George was saying, a curious pitch in his voice. Remus was assaulted by the notion that he was trying to sound like Fred and George at the same time, and hadn't quite managed to decide how to do it.

"You know Ginny as well as I do, George. She simply won't allow that. We'll have to try to keep an eye on her, but I don't see how being with her every second of the day is going to help. She'll come to us if she needs us," Bill responded, his eyes straining towards Percy.

There was a silence, followed by Charlie's voice. "I'm surprised at how stupid you can all be. Ginny doesn't need to be alone right now, she needs us. So does Percy, for that matter. So I vote for finding Ginny and then just staying here so we can …"

"We're not voting, Charlie. It doesn't work that way," Bill interrupted in a clipped voice.

"You're not Mum, Bill; you don't get to overrule me," Charlie snapped.

"No, but I'm the closest thing we've got to a responsible adult at this point, so I guess it'll have to do." Bill's hands were shaking as he flexed them open and closed in a nervous manner.

"Sure, see how you manage then" was all Charlie had to say before he walked away, not without bending down to whisper a few words to Percy.

George shrugged and sat down beside Percy, and Bill looked into Remus's eyes. "I don't know what I'm doing," he admitted softly after a moment.

Remus shrugged. He and Bill had become somewhat close during the last year, shared experiences and pains made for somewhat depressing, but enlightening conversation, he'd found.

"I don't think there's any simple answer for that, Bill. Right now, though, I think you need to go find your brother. You might disagree with him about the methods, but he means well…you know that."

Bill sighed, and Remus got a glimpse of how Bill must have been as a boy. They weren't that far apart in age, but he felt older than his years as he saw the younger man nod. He didn't move from his spot, though.

"I'll let him cool off. No good will come out of going after him right now."

Remus nodded. "I'll take your word for it."

And that was all there was. Remus felt like he should have said something else, but instead he found himself wondering about Ron and Hermione. Bill hadn't mentioned them, and Remus had just assumed they'd gone off to find Harry. Ginny wasn't in the Hospital Wing either, and Remus found himself hoping that Ron and Hermione had been detained somewhere on their way to Gryffindor Tower so that Harry and Ginny could have their talk.

Shaking his head, he reached out to clap Bill in the back before motioning towards the bed he'd been occupying that morning, where Tonks was still sleeping soundly. Bill nodded, and Remus headed towards the familiar and always-imposing figure of Andromeda Tonks, who sat close to her daughter, holding a bundle in her arms.

"Teddy," he called, and the baby started crying at the sound of his voice. Andromeda shrugged before handing the little one to him, and then moving closer to Tonks's sleeping form, giving him some time with his son. He briefly wondered how his wife could sleep with so many things going on, and then he shifted his attention to the source of most of the noise in the room, his son.

"There, there," he whispered as he bent close to his son's ears. "Don't cry now, my baby. Daddy's here and everything will be all right now. You don't have to grow up in fear, my baby. Not anymore," he kept whispering over and over, feeling immensely grateful for the opportunity.

"Remus?" a sleepy voice called, he looked up into the eyes of his wife for the first time since Voldemort had been defeated, and the world shifted. He felt his eyes water, and as always, the voice of Sirius calling him a Nancy boy resounded in his head, and he checked back his tears, because this time, he only felt glad that his friend's voice could still offer comments at the most inappropriate times, even if that made him a nutter.

"Hello," he whispered as he got close to her, and everything he had to say was washed away in the relief he saw in her eyes. "Hello," he whispered again, this time placing a soft kiss in her brow, because he didn't really know what else to say. "I'm glad you're alive" didn't sound exactly romantic.

"I'm glad you're here," she said, smiling brightly as she took Teddy from him, sitting up in bed. "I'm glad we're all here," she said, looking at her mother before starting into the now smiling face of her son. "For a moment there …I wasn't sure we'd be here to see this day."

**To be continued …**

_A/N: So this is Part A, or as I like to call it the upbeat part (trust me; this is upbeat compared to Carrie's part!).__ I'll be focusing mostly in Remus and Tonks, since this AU does involve how the world would change if Arthur and Molly died, and Remus and Tonks lived, which is why the first part was kind of a re-write from DH. Now the fun part begins! Of course, you'll see interactions with the Weasleys, and a lot of Harry. You'll also get H/G, because I can't help myself. _

_I'll take this moment to do something we didn't do last chapter, apologize. I'm very sorry we killed off Molly and Arthur. As always, a million thanks to Anne. And, also, I'll say that it was great fun to write the fight between Bill and Charlie. I don't think we've seen enough of Charlie, and I quite like the guy. _

_Now, onto the depressing part you go! _


	3. Chapter 3

_Despite all- Part One_

The world wasn't the same; the world would never be the same. _Her_ world had fallen apart.

Thoughts were spinning through her head as she sat on the incredibly cold floor in the Great Hall, in the exact place where her mother had fallen, eyes wide open. Eyes that saw so much whenever she had looked at one of her children, but especially when she looked at her daughter. Her mother, who had always tried to understand her, but who was never _meant_ to understand her completely. Ginny sighed, as she allowed her regrets to fill her up. If she could have a chance… one brief moment in time, maybe she could make her mother see that she'd grown up, that she was her own person now.

She sighed again. Somewhere deep in her heart she was actually aware her mother knew. She couldn't explain it, especially in the light of their last heated discussion in the Room of Requirement, but a knowing light of understanding, of love, of trust had been in Molly's eyes when their eyes had caught briefly, after Voldemort had announced Harry's death.

Both had been visibly pained, one because of the lost of another son, the other because of chances denied by faith, but something had changed in the relationship between mother and daughter in that instant. It was as if her mother had seen the woman in her and had approved.

Ginny's eyes closed tightly; breathing was unbearably hard work. It wasn't like she could go on as if nothing had happened, but on the other hand she knew that her parents would have wanted her to live her life. Behind closed eyes, she saw a flash of green light, heard her mum swear, something she hadn't heard in the sixteen years of her existence. Fred would have teased Molly mercilessly for not minding her language. Ginny bit her lower lip. Fred wouldn't tease anybody ever again. He would never hold her; never desperately try to pretend that he had no idea what was bothering her, when he was the one who understood.

Around her she heard people moving, heard them whisper. Occasionally it sounded like her name, sometimes more like _"Orphans, you know?" "Tragedy!" "Harry Potter… brother's best friend… her ex-boyfriend."_ Nobody approached her. Ginny was thankful for that. She wouldn't know what to say, didn't want pity and she just didn't feel like dealing with anybody right then.

Her fingers traced the floor. Not twenty-four hours ago, her mother's head had rested in her lap, her fingers had combed through the still vibrant hair. Her lips had whispered against her cheek _"I love you… you can't leave me…mummy!" _Her tears had run over her mother's cheek, giving the illusion of life. And then, she had heard somebody shout out: _"He's alive!" _and her body had uncurled. She still held on her mother's body protectively, but her eyes had searched and found.

"_Harry!" _The word hadn't been more than a breathy whisper. There was confusion. _"He is dead. NO, he's alive."_ He had been there, he hadn't been taken, too. Hope mingled with desperation. Harry had fought, and more importantly, Harry had won. Any moment, he would come and wrap her in his arms. Any moment now, he would become her strength.

But he didn't come to her. It hadn't been his hands that had pulled her up and turned her. It hadn't been him. Harry had looked at her briefly, but then he'd turned around and left the Great Hall. For the longest time her eyes hadn't been able to move away from the entry through which he had gone.

It had been George who had shaken her, George who had begged her to listen. It had been Charlie who'd wrapped her into his arms and had ordered her to let it all out. It had been Bill who had looked at her as if he could see right into her soul.

"Parvati said she'd seen Ginny here!" Hermione's voice reached her clearly. They were close, too close. Ginny scrabbled to her feet, determined to leave before they could approach her. Where Hermione was, Ron wouldn't be far. It wasn't as if she wanted to avoid her family, but today…. She had to be alone; she had to come to terms with things before facing them again.

She found herself in the corridor that lead to the Room of Requirement. She wasn't sure if the room could ever be used again. It didn't really matter, Ginny supposed. Huge amounts of stone lay about in tumbled piles everywhere, silent witnesses of death, of pain, of the cruelty that had taken place there. Percy being reunited with them, just to witness their brother's death… Fred who would never laugh again. Percy and Ron, standing so close together. They could have been snatched away too. An icy shiver went down her spine as she walked to the niche where they'd placed Fred the day before, according to Ron. The suit of armour was back in place.

Ginny knew what she was doing. Visiting the places that head meant death for loved ones. It gave her a purpose, gave her peace. Suddenly, she froze, her breath caught in a sob. Her father, she didn't know how…. didn't know where. None of her siblings had been with him. She wasn't sure if their mother had been. She hadn't expected that it would be that important to her, if she had, she surely would have asked Remus when he had brought her father's body in the Great Hall.

All of a sudden, she felt haunted by a restlessness that she couldn't rationally explain. She had to ask Remus, needed to learn about her dad. She got to her feet, ready to search him out, when she realized where Remus might be: with Harry, maybe even with her brothers. Frustration choked her. She needed to know, but she didn't know how to deal with Harry yet. His leaving of the Great Hall, when she was so openly vulnerable, had felt like a betrayal. She'd felt it in her bones.

Trembling fingers folded in her lap. Her father would understand. He'd always tried to understand her. It hadn't been exactly easy -- he was used to dealing with sons-- but she had been different. He had doted on her, had loved and protected her. He'd been a wonderful father in the truest sense of the word, but at the same time, he hadn't really known how to handle her moods, and yet he'd always tried to understand and to encourage her in everything. That's who her dad was.

In need of a final place to go, she walked up the Astronomy Tower. Her mother had loved to stargaze. Her parents had taken after dinner strolls more than once. Her mother had always returned with a rather dreamy expression on her face . Her father had always looked down at his wife with a certain look of pride and love that Ginny couldn't help but wish to see in her own husband's face one day. Their parents had loved each other deeply, not only their children, but also each other. It had been an almost tangible part of Ginny's life, and yet she had never fully appreciated, never completely understood the deep commitment her parents had shared.

She finally pushed open the door, stepped into the room and walked slowly through it, taking everything in. Even here, one could see the marks of the final battle of Hogwarts. The fresh evening wind was cooling the place, making her hair move gently in rhythm. She sat on a wall balustrade that looked safe enough and let one leg dangle outside. That was a sitting position nobody in her family had ever appreciated. Too dangerous, something she would never do when somebody she loved was close. Her eyes drifted closed, as she angled her face upwards. The wind felt like small caresses against her heated skin, and it was so easy to imagine that the source of her comfort were her parents and Fred. "How strange", she thought with some regret, "that I can take comfort from the death, and those who are still alive seem so unapproachable."

But just for this one night she would allow the comfort from above. She sighed deeply, wondering not for the first time, how her family, so battered by the war would manage to go on. They had almost made it through the entire war together and then things had gone wrong. George had been the beginning, the bad omen everybody had chosen to ignore. The Weasleys had been a poor family for the longest time, but it had never really bothered her, not because she hadn't longed for beautiful dresses or the newest toys, but because she had something valuable. She had a family that stood together as one against anybody who dared to hurt them. It had always been like that, thanks to their parents' influence and their guidance.

Her voice was a little shaky and barely a whisper when she finally spoke. "I'm scared thinking about what will become of our family. I don't think the boys know how to _be_ a family. They know how to bicker, and they know how to fight. But Mum…. they aren't you or dad. I know it won't take long before Bill and Charlie start fighting over who's responsible for everything… and Fred…. George… he seems so different. It's only been a day, but he… he is backing _away_. He never did that when you were there. Ron has Hermione, and that's good. They need each other. But … what are we going to do with Percy? He… Fred, I don't think he ever realized how much he loved you, not when you were here… God… how will _I_ manage?"

She shivered. Some of the stars seemed to twinkle; the moon was waning. Soon there would be a new moon again. The night was silent. The atmosphere of uncertainty that had permanently filled the Hogwarts grounds in the last year had vanished; instead it had become peaceful once more. Her mind comprehended what her heart couldn't yet accept. They had been given the gift of a new beginning. People had died for their dream of a better world… now it was her duty to make sure that she appreciated what had been given. It would take time, but she was confident she would manage.

"I need to go now…. You know the boys. They will be at each other's throats by now, all because they don't know where I went. I'm going to need your guidance."

With that she hopped down from the wall and slowly made it back to the Hospital Wing. It had been a long day, and the days that would follow would surely be long too. She would talk to her brothers. She had to find out if she could help any of them. She wanted to talk to Remus, to know, to understand. She owed it to her father. And finally, she knew in her heart that Harry and she needed to talk. There were many things unresolved, that needed to be addressed.

She turned left once more and found herself in the corridors that lead to the Hospital Wing. Her time to be a recluse had come to an end. Charlie was standing next to the door, looking remarkably torn between anger, worry and sullenness. When he opened his mouth, surely to tell her something that she didn't have the will to deal with right now, she held up a hand to silence him, shaking her head. As far as wonders went it was a small one. Charlie looked even sourer, but he complied. One of his hands on her back, he opened the door and ushered her in. One look at Bill told her that the dreaded fight had already occurred.

She would deal with it all tomorrow.

George looked fast asleep, as did Hermione and Ron in the bed next to him.

Percy was lying still, but for his rapidly moving eyes. His head was bandaged, otherwise he was unhurt. For a second, Ginny hesitated, and then she walked over to Percy and slipped into the bed next to him. She leaned up and kissed his cheek gently. Then she rested her head on his chest and laid a hand over his heart. It beat in a steady rhythm. Ginny stared at the wall; Percy kept staring at the ceiling. Even after everybody else had fallen asleep, the two of them were still awake, both tormented, both trying to heal. Just before she finally fell asleep in the hours before dawn she felt Percy's hand tighten on her back. When she looked up, her eyelids heavy, his eyes drifted closed.

**To be continued …**

_A/N: Okay, okay, I'll just confess then. As starbuckx pointed out so nicely. She writes the upbeat part. I am dealing with the Weasleys (mainly Ginny) in a world in which they haven't only lost their brother but also both their parents. Starbuckx already explained to you, why to those eagle eyed readers the first installment looked so much like DH. To repeat it here: The course for our A/U needed to be set. We are now in the middle of it._

_However dear faithful reader, I am not planning a never-ending torture for our lovely Weasley Clan. That much, I will promise. _

_Despite all- Anticipation are two stories, which are very tightly knitted, therefore references in one story will probably lead to a scene in the other part. If you are actually interested in seeing a scene that we haven't written, all you need to do is leave a review… and tell us what you would love to read about. And before you ask: yes, I will deal with Charlie and Bill in the next chapter, don't worry._

_At this point, my thanks go to our beta Anne, who actually managed to motivate us write to a chapter in 24 hours! To Starbuckx for her encouragement when I felt like taking a break, and to our readers, by leaving us feedback. You are an important factor in our update speed. ;-)_


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